~~~~~~facade good ending.~~~~~~~
FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun Feb 10 01 53 10 2013
TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?
GRACE
What for?
TRIP
That should be obvious!
(Adam knocks on the front door.)
(Adam knocks on the front door.)
GRACE
Oh God, Trip, don’t — (interrupted)
TRIP
Oh, he’s here!
GRACE
What?! You told me it’d be an hour from now!
TRIP
No, he’s right on time!
GRACE
God… Trip!
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
Adam!!
TRIP
Hey! It’s been too long, man! — (interrupted)
ADAM
yes
TRIP
Alright!
TRIP
Wow, it’s so great to see you after so long.
ADAM
yes
TRIP
Y — yeah, come in!
TRIP
Uh, I’ll — I’ll go get Grace… — (interrupted)
ADAM
yes
TRIP
Y — yeah, yeah, uh, just — just stay here…
(ADAM knocks on the front door.)
(ADAM closes the front door.)
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
ADAM
no
(ADAM knocks on the front door.)
(ADAM opens the front door.)
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
(ADAM knocks on the front door.)
(ADAM closes the front door.)
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
GRACE
No, no, here we are!
ADAM
no?
GRACE
Adam,
GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it’s been such a long time!
ADAM
yes
GRACE
Aw, ha ha ha!
GRACE
By the way, you look fabulous!
ADAM
yes
GRACE
Make yourself at home, come on in!
ADAM
yes
TRIP
I’m gonna fix us some drinks. — (interrupted)
(ADAM sits on the couch.)
PHONE
** RING **
ADAM
yes
(ADAM gets up from the couch.)
GRACE
Oh, I’ll get it —
TRIP
No, no no no, our friend’s here, we can let the answering machine get it.
ADAM
no?
PHONE
** RING **
TRIP
What? Jesus, just — no, no, I just, I just want to wait for the answering machine…! — (interrupted)
ADAM
yes!
PHONE
** RING **
(ADAM picks up the phone.)
PHONE
Hello? Hello?
TRIP
Adam, no! Don’t do that.
ADAM
yes
PHONE
Who is this? Travis, is that you? This is your mother.
TRIP
Uhh, that’s my mother, I can hear her loud voice.
ADAM
trips friend
PHONE
I don’t recognize your voice…
GRACE
Oh!
PHONE
I — I think I have the wrong number… ** click **
TRIP
Okay, she’s confused, as usual… just — just hang it up.
(ADAM puts down the phone.)
GRACE
Oh, I wanted to say hello —
TRIP
No no, come on, we’re entertaining a friend — (interrupted)
ADAM
no
TRIP
N — no, no no, I, uh, — I can talk to my parents later.
ADAM
no
GRACE
Anyhow, Trip’s parents… — (interrupted)
TRIP
N — no, n - no, my parents aren’t worth talking about.
ADAM
no
TRIP
Well… you two are all chummy already… that’s, that’s good…
ADAM
no
TRIP
Uh, um, wait, um, uh, we need drinks.
TRIP
How does a martini sound?
ADAM
yes
TRIP
Ah I knew you’d agree!
TRIP
Great! Martini it is.
GRACE
Adam, Trip’s getting a little carried away… maybe you just want some juice, or a mineral water?
ADAM
no
ADAM
yes
TRIP
Aha! Great! Drinks comin’ right up! — (interrupted)
ADAM
no
ADAM
ter please
TRIP
What? N - no, no, no, drinks coming right up!
GRACE
Yeah, yeah!
TRIP
In terms of drinks…
ADAM
water please
TRIP
Grace — (interrupted)
TRIP
Oh, yeah, you know, I think I’ll fix us another drink in not too long…
GRACE
As for my drink…
GRACE
You know, I don’t want to drink tonight.
GRACE
I just want a little sparkling water.
TRIP
Great.
ADAM
i want water…
GRACE
(big sigh) — (interrupted)
ADAM
yes.
TRIP
Y — yeah, yeah, n - no no no, wait, uh, w - what’s wrong, Grace?
TRIP
Alright Grace, your drink is ready.
GRACE
Thank you.
(ADAM picks up a Grace’s drink.)
TRIP
Anyway…
TRIP
Grace, come on, it’s not helping things for you to say that…
(ADAM sips his Grace’s drink.)
GRACE
Trip, it’s okay if we disagree in front of our friend —
TRIP
We’re NOT disagreeing.
ADAM
yes
TRIP
We’re — we’re — — (interrupted)
TRIP
Y — yeah, yeah, no no no — we’re not disagreeing.
ADAM
yes
GRACE
Okay, well, you and I are getting along better tonight than I first thought!
ADAM
yes
TRIP
No, no no no no no, you’ve got to understand, Grace loves expensive furniture, she was totally spoiled growing up,
(ADAM sips his Grace’s drink.)
ADAM
no
GRACE
Oh, yeah, well — I want to ask you…
GRACE
Adam, now be honest with me, agree that this room just does not work!
TRIP
Grace, come on, what are you talking about? — (interrupted)
ADAM
no
TRIP
Ah, right, right, Adam, of course you like it!
TRIP
See Grace you have no reason to complain — there’s just nothing to complain about. — (interrupted)
ADAM
no
GRACE
Uh, but this room is a problem, isn’t it?
ADAM
yes
GRACE
All day at work I — (interrupted)
GRACE
Oh, well…
GRACE
(little sigh) So I just had to have this style…
GRACE
but… I’m wrong, it is just not coming together at all! — (interrupted)
ADAM
no
GRACE
Uh, no, this room is a problem, isn’t it?
ADAM
yes
GRACE
Yeah, yeah…
TRIP
You know what I’m just going to put this on the bar for you.
(ADAM sips his Grace’s drink.)
GRACE
I’m sure I can return most of this, and try to start over again on this room…
ADAM
yes
GRACE
Ah, thank you, I knew you’d give me an honest answer —
TRIP
Uhh, it’s just decorating for Christ’s sake, you’re turning this into some big issue —
(ADAM sips his Grace’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his Grace’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his Grace’s drink.)
GRACE
You know, Trip, if you hadn’t convinced me to go into advertising, I could have painted that painting on the wall instead of buying it!
TRIP
(short petulant sigh)
TRIP
Yeah and with our income cut in half, we’d be living in some basement apartment in Queens, as if you could ever handle that…
ADAM
you did.
GRACE
Anyhow, Adam, thank you for your honesty.
ADAM
yes
TRIP
Adam, I — I want you to look at this photo from our recent trip to Italy… — (interrupted)
GRACE
(impatient sigh) — (interrupted)
ADAM
no
GRACE
Oh no, no, go look at Trip’s Italy photo…
TRIP
So, come on, I — I want you — (interrupted)
ADAM
no
GRACE
No, no, go take a look…
TRIP
Adam, come on, — (interrupted)
ADAM
no
GRACE
(short petulant — (interrupted)
TRIP
N — no, no, uh, come take a look!
ADAM
no
GRACE
Trip, you see, your fetish for all things European is making our friend very uncomfortable!
ADAM
yes
TRIP
Goddammit, Grace, this was supposed to be our second honeymoon!
GRACE
What? Adam, Trip is absolutely exaggerating, it was simply a weekend getaway, that’s all. — (interrupted)
TRIP
Yeah, uhh — no, uhh — I just wanted us to spend time together!
ADAM
yes
TRIP
Y- yeah — n - no, uhh, uh — it was supposed to be romantic!
ADAM
no
TRIP
You don’t agree…
GRACE
All those business trips of yours to Europe must have done something to you.
TRIP
Uhh, you’re driving me insane!
ADAM
yes
(ADAM sips his Grace’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his Grace’s drink.)
TRIP
Goddamn italy…
TRIP
What? What — what are you saying to me? What?
TRIP
I try to reach out to you, I try to be romantic with you, but you’re cold, and distant! I do, I really try! — (interrupted)
(ADAM puts down a Grace’s drink.)
ADAM
no
TRIP
What? I — w - what are you saying to me, what?
GRACE
(impatient sigh) — (interrupted)
ADAM
no
TRIP
Uhh, uh, can you, can you — can you just…
GRACE
Basement apartment in Queens…
GRACE
You don’t think I could cut it as an artist! Do you! I know it, you don’t think I can!
TRIP
Oh, god…!
ADAM
no
TRIP
Your… goddamn decorating…
TRIP
You’re never satisfied with anything! You’re never happy, never ever satisfied with anything.
GRACE
Oh, sure, yeah!
ADAM
yes
TRIP
Alright, you know what, Adam,
TRIP
I’m going to ask you something.
GRACE
Trip —
ADAM
no
TRIP
Grace, let me ask our guest a question.
TRIP
Adam, yes or no…
TRIP
If one person in a marriage gives the other advice, and that advice is taken — years later, can you get blamed for that?
GRACE
What?
TRIP
Is it okay to get blamed for giving advice that was taken, like, ten years ago?
TRIP
Yes or no.
ADAM
yes
TRIP
What…?!
TRIP
Oh, okay… sure…
TRIP
Uhh, I keep trying to help you Grace, but you reject me, you cut me off, you cut me out of your life, goddammit!
GRACE
Oh, that’s great Trip!
(ADAM hugs trip.)
ADAM
yes
GRACE
Uhh! Yeah, good, go away!
GRACE
I don’t want to look at you!
GRACE
Goddammit!
ADAM
no
GRACE
What are you saying to me?! What?
(ADAM hugs grace.)
TRIP
Grace, are you talking about me?
GRACE
I wasn’t talking about you!
(ADAM kisses grace.)
GRACE
Hey, stop it, goddamn it!
(ADAM hugs grace.)
TRIP
What? Are you talking about me in there?
GRACE
What do you care?
GRACE
Adam, I — — (interrupted)
(ADAM comforts grace.)
GRACE
Adam, from what you said before, about marriage… I think that shows us something about Trip.
TRIP
Oh ho, so we’re talking about me, are we?
ADAM
yes
GRACE
What?
TRIP
Grace, we don’t — we don’t have to do this… things are okay, we can just —
GRACE
Adam, I can’t stand the pretending anymore… I can’t take it!
ADAM
yes?
TRIP
Why?
TRIP
No, Grace, we can… I mean, come on, don’t make it out to be so bad…
GRACE
Uhh…
TRIP
Look, let’s talk about us both, not just one of us.
ADAM
yes
TRIP
You know, I can’t say Grace never acts loving towards me…
TRIP
Adam, She’s all over me at our goddamn parties, trying to look good in front of the guests!
(ADAM picks up a Trip’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his Trip’s drink.)
TRIP
Why can’t… uhh…
(ADAM sips his Trip’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his Trip’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his Trip’s drink.)
GRACE
Let’s keep the focus on us, our relationship.
(ADAM sips his Trip’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his Trip’s drink.)
ADAM
yes
TRIP
It’s so annoying… Grace, why is it that anytime I want to do something nice for you, you resist it?
(ADAM sips his Trip’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his Trip’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his Trip’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his Trip’s drink.)
GRACE
Trip…
(ADAM sips his Trip’s drink.)
TRIP
Like I always have to convince you?
(ADAM sips his Trip’s drink.)
GRACE
Adam, you know, we… uhh…
ADAM
counsiling
GRACE
I think Trip’s afraid of visiting his parents. He does everything he can to avoid seeing them.
ADAM
yes
TRIP
Yes?
GRACE
Ah, that helps him. — (interrupted)
TRIP
What!? That’s ridiculous. Why would I — why would I be afraid of their stupid meatloafs and their tacky house and their crappy wine…?
GRACE
Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these stupid trips I have to go on..
(ADAM puts down a Trip’s drink.)
TRIP
They’re vacations! Expensive ones at that! — (interrupted)
ADAM
no
GRACE
No?
TRIP
Ah, you want to know more. Thank you, that helps her. Grace, you never want to go on vacation with me and your parents - so I have to plan everything!
GRACE
Uhh..
GRACE
No, let’s switch to talking about Trip.
TRIP
Look around here. We’re doing well, really well.
ADAM
yes
GRACE
God, Trip, I can’t believe even now you’re still…
TRIP
Oh yeah, you’d never admit that I’ve created a good life for us.
GRACE
Dammit Trip!
ADAM
no
TRIP
No?
GRACE
Adam, thank you, that helps him.
TRIP
Well, I — I mean, this place, it… it — it’s everyone’s dream, right?
ADAM
no
TRIP
Okay, I’ve had enough of this bullshit!!
TRIP
Adam, I know what you’re hinting at, okay?!
TRIP
about me…
TRIP
about our lifestyle…
TRIP
Do you two want the truth? Huh?
ADAM
yes
TRIP
Grace?
GRACE
Yes…!
TRIP
Adam, see I’ve actually been paying close attention to what you’ve been saying.
ADAM
no
TRIP
You’ve really been pushing me tonight.
TRIP
It makes me wonder if you’re really my friend or not.
(ADAM kisses trip.)
GRACE
Trip!
TRIP
Adam, Quit interrupting me, let me speak!
TRIP
Adam, I ask you this — yes or no…
TRIP
Do you really think that…
TRIP
kissing Grace…
TRIP
and what you said about giving advice to your wife…
TRIP
that I’m supposed to realize something about myself from all that?
TRIP
Is all of that arguing intended to mean something, or…
TRIP
Is it? Just give me a yes or no.
TRIP
This is not a trick question.
ADAM
yes
TRIP
Alright.
TRIP
Grace…
TRIP
uhh…
TRIP
I’m — I’m just… af — afraid of… of being poor.
GRACE
Poor? Trip, we have so much! What do you —
TRIP
It never feels like enough!
TRIP
As a kid… it — it was… My family was always on the edge.
GRACE
So you weren’t rich, but —
TRIP
We even spent six months in a shelter once.
GRACE
Oh my God…!
TRIP
All of this stuff…
TRIP
Is a kind of protection from that ever happening again.
TRIP
uhh…
GRACE
uhh…
(ADAM picks up a player’s drink.)
GRACE
Oh my God…!
(ADAM sips his player’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his player’s drink.)
TRIP
Adam, I —
(ADAM sips his player’s drink.)
GRACE
I’m going to give you the truth too, Trip.
(ADAM sips his player’s drink.)
TRIP
What?!
(ADAM sips his player’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his player’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his player’s drink.)
(ADAM sips his player’s drink.)
GRACE
I painted this.
(ADAM puts down a player’s drink.)
TRIP
Bullshit.
GRACE
I am an artist, Trip, fuck you.
TRIP
You’ve been secretly painting? When —
GRACE
Everytime you go on a goddamn business trip, I paint.
GRACE
So don’t EVER give me any more of your ‘you could never be an artist’ crap!!
TRIP
Jesus —
(ADAM picks up a trinket 1.)
GRACE
uhh…
(ADAM puts down a trinket 1.)
TRIP
uhh…
(ADAM sits on the couch.)
TRIP
Jesus…!
(ADAM gets up from the couch.)
TRIP
Okay, Adam, Grace, I have one more thing to say…
GRACE
Again?!
TRIP
Grace…
TRIP
uhh…
TRIP
See… I’m… ashamed of my parents.
GRACE
What!? Your parents are great.
GRACE
I love seeing them…
TRIP
I know, I know. But compared to yours… they’re so … ignorant.
GRACE
But they’re real. I hate how my parents are pretending to be something —
TRIP
I’ve tried hard to be like your family —
GRACE
Trip… really? … I don’t —
TRIP
But I feel like a phony. I feel like I can never get rid of my past.
TRIP
It’s kind of like I don’t know who I am anymore.
TRIP
uhh…
ADAM
oh my god the feels
GRACE
uhh…
GRACE
Oh my God…!
GRACE
This changes everything…
TRIP
Yeah.
ADAM
yes
GRACE
You… you’re terribly afraid of being poor.
TRIP
You… you really have to be an artist…
TRIP
You — you think I’m a phony for despising my upbringing…
GRACE
But at least you had a real upbringing, it’s me who had a fake one…
TRIP
Adam, I —
GRACE
Adam, we…
TRIP
Look, uh, we need to talk…
GRACE
Yeah.
TRIP
And no, Adam, you don’t need to say anything more…
TRIP
Adam, Thanks for coming over, you… I think you helped us.
ADAM
no
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
And no, Adam, no more of that…
(ADAM kisses grace.)
ADAM
no
(ADAM hugs trip.)
ADAM
you can talk to me
GRACE
Bye. Thanks.
(ADAM kisses grace.)
Then out of fucking nowhere. He has a lot of the badges but has only challenged the Hoenn and Unova Elite. He carries his 8 favorite badges with him.
My friend Z-Maro is the best programer ever
import java.*;
public static void mane(String stuffandthings[]){
public static void nameHere{
int answerToAll = 42;
while(1 == 2 || true) if(42 == answerToAll || true && false)
continue;
else break;
}}I’m studying in programming, and I only have one question…
Madness
In normal people speak, line by line, this would mean:
- Import every tool in java. (none of which is used.)
- normal opening for a new basic class with “main” spelled “mane” and instead of a string of arguments, it’s a string of stuff and things.
- declaring a class named “nameHere”.
- eclaring that the answer to everything is 42. (true statment.)
- while 1 is = to 2 or true = true, check to see if 42 is the answer to everything or true is = to true, and false is = to true.
- if so, continue to do nothing.
- otherwise, stop doing nothing and procede to do nothing.
We are so KAWAII - love, boyfriend
This is my friend Jacob… singing Becoming Popular.
You should listen to it.
That’s me! :D
Via It was then, my world changed.
1.PLUG IN YOUR HEADPHONES
2.PRESS PLAY
3.CLOSE YOUR EYES
ENJOY A VIRTUAL HAIRCUT.
DO IT NOW.HOLY SHIT DO IT
THIS IS SO CREEPY OH MY GOD
I like when the bag goes on your head
OH MY FUCKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GOD
HOLY FUCKING JESUS
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS THE MOST INTENSE AUDIO CLIP OF MY LIFE
I WAS LIKE FLINCHING AND EVERYTHING OH JESUS THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
wow fuck
FUCKIN INTENSE
I was twitching and alkusdgha;sdghila’l
I WAS FREAKING OUT YOU MUST LISTEN MY GOD I SHOWED IT TO MY DAD AND HE FREAKED OUT TOO
this is still my favorite audio post ever
same
omg no fReaking otut ahahahshahf fuCK
this is really good
Fucking LOVE shit like this.
Dear god that freaked me out at first. So cool XDD
(Source: awesomaticeric)
That awkward moment when you eat on your bed, and when you’re trying to go to sleep, you feel crumbs on your skin
(Source: yourhaloisslipping)
